When you read some articles online, they give a lot of dos and don’ts about relationships that are bigger than our Nigerian constitution. These codes are so many that trying to keep all of them can turn a full blooded human to a robot. The point is: while some of the dos and don’ts are valid, they are not always necessary. What works in one relationship may not work in another. This results in partial success and partial failure.
But some things are so essential that you should not overlook them. They form the core of every true relationship. You may refer to them as the engine a successful relationship. Among a plethora of such things, three qualities stand out the most. If they are present in you and your partners, your relationship will weather any storm irrespective of the do’s and don’ts that have been set by others. You can find them below.
1. Teachable: Webster dictionary defines “teachable” as being ‘able and willing to learn’. This is by far the most vital quality. No matter how horrible your partner may be, if they have this one quality, there is still hope. Nobody enters into a relationship being perfect. We must all have a deficit in one way or the other. The ability to be open to learn and change for the happiness of another person is what counts. If your partner does not know how to show love, how to cook, how to tidy up a home or any other thing but is willing to learn, you have a treasure. Too many people will instead just say “That is the way I am and I can’t change for anybody. Deal with it.” It takes a lot of gut and humility to admit that you are doing something wrong and have the desire to learn to do it right. If your partner is rigid and is not willing to learn, you had better think twice.
2. Devotion: You may substitute this word for “commitment.” Love is easy; commitment is difficult. Love is a feeling that comes and goes; commitment remains whether the feeling is present or not. Devotion is what makes someone want to keep a relationship even it is not convenient. It is what makes a partner continually watch out for the interest of another even when they do not feel like it. It is the quality of sticking to someone no matter the challenges. It is what keeps your partner by your side even if they find someone more attractive than you. You would want a partner that would remain committed to you even when they do not feel they love you. It is from this quality that other things like sacrifice spring up. If you doubt your partner’s commitment to you and your relationship, you should have a second thought. Many dating relationships and marriages crash because one partner did not learn how to be devoted during the ups and down of life.
3. Tolerance: If your partner has a quick temper, there is a problem. If your partner is fond of flaring up at the slightest provocation, your relationship is sitting on a time bomb. You need someone who is tolerant when they see your flaws. You will make mistakes. You will commit unimaginable blunders. You will say things you never mean. You will do things that you never really planned to do. You will hurt your partner even without knowing. If you want to argue the previous statements, you need to come to terms with your humanity. Face the truth: you are not perfect. To err is human. But in all, your partner needs to be someone who can forgive and be accommodating of your flaws. And this is why tolerance is crucial. A successful relationship is one where the partners have mastered the art of forgiveness and tolerance.
In conclusion, you will notice that love does not make the list. The reason is because this list is Reality 101. While love is important, it is not a quality a partner can possess. Rather, it is what is felt between two people and the feeling can be erratic. A durable relationship needs more than just love; it needs more of teachability, commitment, and tolerance.
Do you agree with Me?